New Orleans for a Fairytale

I woke up from a dead sleep this morning, once again, totally unsure of my whereabouts. And I was alone. I rolled over to see another full size bed next to mine, the covers left mussed reassurin' me that someone, hopefully Rachel, had slept in them overnight.

I don't know why I expected to open my eyes and see my own room around me. It took me a minute to register that Rachel and I had even decided to take a road trip. Everything was fuzzy. I could remember our stay at the Omni downtown in San Antonio. I could remember walkin' down the Riverwalk through the sparklin' display of Christmas lights. We'd had dinner at a funny place called Dicks, where the waitstaff is expected to be anything but polite...literally. But past that...my memories were dim.

This must be one of the old hotels downtown, I thought, by the looks of the room. The bed and furniture were all antiques, and the drapes hanging high over the window, were heavy and looked to come from a similar era as the rest of the decor. I swung my legs off the bed, only to find that my feet were still a solid 8 inches from reachi'g the floor off the high-set bed.

Hopping down, I reached to pull the heavy drapes aside, immediately wincin' at the bright sunlight pourin' in from the other side. And though I wasn't an expert on the San Antonio sky-line, when I peeked outside for even that split second, I knew something wasn't right. Where in the hell was I?

Runnin' from the bedroom, I thrust open the french doors to find another lavishly decorated sittin' room, with gold goblets, sculptures and velvet tapestries on the walls. Still, no sign of Rachel. The bathroom door was left open, and it was plain she wasn't in there either. But the light was on. So maybe she had been.

On the edge of panic, I turned to go look out the window again in hopes that I'd at least remember where I was. But, of course, in my haste, I managed to stub my toe on the claw foot juttin' out from the bottom of the Victorian couch.

Yellin' out in pain I jumped around as one does, tryin' to hold my foot and rub my toe, cussin' the existence of the stupid old furniture and its stupidly dangerous design.

I tried to lean onto the window pane for a little stability, when I heard Rachel's voice call my name.

“Jeaux?”

As the window I had attempted to lean my weight against swung open – actually being another set of french doors that led onto the terrace where Rachel sat drinkin' her mornin' coffee – I made my grand entrance onto the balcony head first.

“Oh my God Jeaux! Are you okay?” Rachel asked rushin' to my assistance. “It's okay, I've got her,” I heard her say to somebody nearby.

“That your friend you been telling us about?” the somebody asked. I figured she just nodded an affirmative.

The man wasn't the only one. I could hear people all around us, and a hearty round of applause sounded as Rachel pulled me to my feet. Apparently, she was not the only one enjoyin' her mornin' on her balcony. The neighbors on either side of our room were as well. Even the guys across the street gave me a much appreciated thumbs-up, when I stood to face them.

“Where are we?” I seethed in question, my embarrassment growin' with every second. And just to make sure I was replete of any shred of dignity I may have had left, I only then realized I was barely dressed in just an A-cut tank-top and a pair of panties. Maybe that was the reason for the thumbs-up then, I thought. Either way, not cool.

“Sit down, here,” Rachel insisted pullin' out a chair. “Sit down. We're in New Orleans. Duh! It was your idea. New Year's Eve in New Orleans? You don't remember?”

“No,” I grumbled shakin' my head, “I don't remember anything past the Riverwalk really. How did we get to New Orleans? What day is it?”

“The Riverwalk? Jeaux are you kidding me right now? That was a week ago! I mean, yes, you've been asleep for practically four days, but you don't remember leaving San Antonio? Buying our tickets? Getting on the plane? You don't remember your little freak-out?”

I was havin' a hard time keepin' up. She sounded pretty concerned about me (which made me a little concerned for me) until the last question, when I realized, there was a reason for why I was havin' such a hard time rememberin'. And apparently, I was the culprit. Big surprise there.

There were people everywhere. All of the hotels linin' the streets had guests dotted across the fronts, watchin' even more people millin' in the streets. Lots of people. Even for New Orleans I had to assume.

“What's with all the people?” I asked. I couldn't stop squintin' my eyes. It was so damn bright! “Did you say I've been asleep for four days?” the gem of insight only just beginnin' to dawn on me.


“Yes! It's New Year's Eve!” Rachel nearly shouted full of exasperation. “I've been freaking out Jeaux! You had me scared out of my mind. You've been asleep since Wednesday. We flew out of San Antonio Tuesday night remember?”

“Kind of,” I tried shakin' my head. “Not really. I don't know it's like a dream. How could I have been asleep that long? What happened? It's really New Year's Eve already?” I asked with a pang in my heart. Even though I had left town with the intentions of getting' away from Kevin specifically, I hadn't meant to stay away for the whole week. And whether the plans were still standin' after his “date” or not – I didn't know – but we had planned to spend New Year's Eve together.

There was a knock on the balcony door, and a room service cart suddenly appeared from behind the curtain.

“Good morning Miss Rachel. You said to bring it on outside this morning, correct?”

“Yes Samuel, thank you very much, you can just leave it there.”

“Thank you ma'am. Good morning, Miss. You must be the sleeping beauty we've all heard so much about.”

“All good I hope,” I managed with a smile.

“Of course ma'am. You ladies have a nice day now.” And he was gone as quickly as he had come.

“Well it seems somebody's been busy makin' friends,” I teased.

“What did you expect me to do? Sit around and watch you sleep?”

“I thought you were freakin' out!”

“I was! But you were breathing and looked to be dreaming. You were just asleep,” she shrugged, “I don't know what happened. I guess whatever that guy gave you was just too strong for you.”

“What guy? You let some random guy drug me? What the fuck Rachel?”

“Oh don't look at me like that! I did not. You were the one pullin' some hellish re-enactment of a Bridesmaids meltdown. All that was missing was the damned colonial woman on the wing! It was either that or get to watch the Air Marshal take you down as well. Give me break. He offered to give you something to relax, and you took it. And yes, I let him,” she ranted on soundin' more and more irritated. But then her face relaxed and she grabbed my hand, “But I really was worried about you.” And with a new sly grin spreadin' across her face she added, “But you should've seen yourself bein' carted up here by the bell-boy on that luggage cart! Samuel helped him load you up. That's why he's so familiar with our sleeping beauty.”

“A luggage cart? Really Rachel? That was your best option?”

Throwin' her hands in the air, she flew into an upheaval again. “Would you have rather I approached the desk clerk for assistance from the handy police officer so that he could have taken you to the hospital and arrested me and tested you for whatever drug you might've had in your system? Did you want me to call your Mom? What would you have had me do? I got you here, and I kept you safe. I even dribbled water down your damn throat so you wouldn't die from dehydration okay! So stop giving me shit. This is all your fault anyway. This whole damn trip.”

She was way past irritated and barrelin' right for mad at this point. I tried to be sympathetic to what she must have gone through havin' to haul me from the airport to the hotel and then through whatever fit I'd managed to have on the airplane as well. But I couldn't get the image of me folded up on a luggage cart and bein' snuck up an elevator out of my head. Did they have to carry me from the taxi?

So I just started to laugh. And once I started, I couldn't stop. I tried to wipe the tears rollin' down my face, just to have more to replace them. Rachel's face unclenched, and she too, began to laugh alongside me.

Finally, it seemed that my tear ducts had run dry, and even my cheek muscles had their limits.

“A luggage cart huh? Wish I could've seen that,” I smiled, shakin' my head. Really, I couldn't be mad at Rachel. She probably handled it all way better than I would have, that was for sure.

“Well you wouldn't have seen too much. We had you curled up enough so your hands and legs didn't hang off the edges or anything,” she chuckled, “but I put my coat over you so I wouldn't get the guys fired,” she explained grinning.

“So what started this whole mess? I mean, on the plane. I can guess as much as to why we're here, but what did I do?”

“Holy shit Jeaux! What didn't you do would be more like it.”

The breeze must have shifted or my appetite finally caught up with me. Smellin' the fresh food from the room-service cart, I wheeled it around in front of me and lifted the lids from the various plates.

“Okay, tell me what happened. And start at the beginnin'. Oh my God I'm starvin'!” I didn't hesitate to dig into the dishes in front of me, not botherin' to ask Rachel which she had intended on bein' her own. Grabbin' a pancake, I loaded it with scrambled eggs and two sausage links, drizzled it all with syrup, and scarfed it like a taco in only a few bites. Rachel couldn't speak, seein' as how her jaw was glued to her neck, and only sat starin' at me.

“You're disgusting. You know that right?”

“Whatever! You said I hadn't eaten in four days! You go that long without food and see how you feel.”

“You're still gross. Anyways...Okay, the beginning...Right. I got the Ding.”

“The what?”

“The Ding on my phone from Southwest Airlines that alerts me when there's good deals. We were talking about how beautiful the Riverwalk was for Christmas, and that we had to go somewhere just as beautiful for New Years, and then I got that Ding, and you jumped at the chance. We went shopping the next day, got our tickets, and bam, we were set for New Orleans on Tuesday. You don't remember any of that?”

“No. And it doesn't make sense, I was plannin' on bein' home for New Year's Eve.” I didn't have to say it aloud, Rachel knew me well enough to know what I wasn't sayin' – that I wanted to be with Kevin.

“Yeah I know. But you weren't barely over seeing him at that restaurant, when we saw that guy. You don't remember the guy either? Remember...the guy that kind of looked like Kevin, really sounded like, and after you jumped on his back from behind, you swore “totally” smelled like him?”

“Oops. No. I don't remember that either.”

“This is crazy. You're brain damage must make you really susceptible to drugs or something.”

I just shrugged. Who knows. I hardly remember to ask questions when freakish shit happens to me anymore.

“Okay, so you jumped this guy, I don't know what you were thinking, and he of course, was not Kevin. But then after smelling him, you went off all crazy about what an asshole he was for not telling you, and how much you loved him anyways, and how dare he not spend his every last waking day pining over the one he can't have...I'm paraphrasing of course,” she said grinnin'. “Anyways, so after that I'm pretty sure you weren't thinking about any other, err, plans you might have had.

“So, like I said, we went shopping the next day and got our tickets, no big deal. Then, comes Tuesday. We're standing in line, and its crazy long, of course, and there's no abundance of patience had by anyone. And then there you are, flipping your lip around like we're in the god-damned Chili's. So, you get picked to be patted down all special like...Jesus I can't believe you don't remember any of this...and then that gets you all in a huff as you can imagine. And really, it was just down-hill from there.

“You pissed off the lady at the ticket counter, because when she asked for your ticket, and you retorted that it had been “stripped away along with your modesty at the stripper pole/security check-point,” you then informed her that if she wanted it, you were surprised she didn't want a “feelsky” to go along with it as well – as you were sure was the security-guard's intent, seeing as how you called him an old pervert. I mean seriously Jeaux, when you get emotional you're like a freaking walking time-bomb, but somebody keeps hitting reset.

“By the time we were on the plane, you were sure the stewardess had been informed of your “touchy” disposition and would have it out for you, so you took the offensive and had it out for her from the get go. You even asked her when the baby was due, and you knew good and damn well that girl wasn't pregnant!

“Then when the plane started to move forward, you just got really tense and I think maybe you were having an anxiety attack. That's when the guy behind us offered to give you something to relax. I swear, I just thought it was a Valium or something, but I think he might've given you Propofol. Don't look at me like that! I didn't know, and you're fine now remember. You didn't die or anything.”

Swallowin' the large lump of food in my mouth so I could finally speak, I retorted, “Yeah, tell that to Michael Jackson. Oh wait, you can't!”

“Whatever. So, he gave you the stupid pill. Or maybe two, I don't know. You took them your damn self Jeaux, and you weren't drunk or anything. At first it seemed to just calm you down a bit, but then you got really goofy, and you stopped making any sense altogether.” Laughing aloud now, Rachel tried to continue through her fit of giggles “You were saying weird stuff...like...the blue square is 13...oh my God it was so funny.

“But then you just got really calm and quiet and I thought you were asleep at first. I mean, you barely made it on your own two feet out of the airport, even with me holding you up most of the way. And once we got in the taxi, that was it. You were out.

“That's when Samuel and the bell-boy came into play. We get to the hotel, and you're out. I mean O-U-T! And I couldn't get you out of the damn cab myself. Well, like I said, I was afraid me hauling some catatonic zombie up here might incur more attention than we wanted. So, I told Tommy, he's one of the bell-boys, that if he helped me get you onto the luggage cart I'd give him fifty bucks. But, I couldn't get a-hold of you right, I mean you were totally just dead weight. So, then he asked Samuel to help, and I gave him another $50. But that was money well spent, I say, because Sam's been absolutely magnificent since we got here.

“Sorry...anyways...So yeah, I mean that's pretty much it. We put you on the cart, covered you with a jacket and piled our bags on top of you and here we are.”

“Here we are,” I garbled through my full mouth of food. If I didn't end-up throwin' up it'd be a miracle. It all tasted so good.

“Oh there was one other little thing.”

“What?”

“Well, like I said, I was kind of starting to freak out when you wouldn't wake up. I mean, it'd been two days already Jeaux, and I know you were just sleeping, but I just...I had to do something. Ask somebody for advice or help, you know...”

“Rachel, what did you do?” I asked her slowly getting a little more than nervous.

Her eyes squinted, as though she were preparin' herself for a beatin', before she finally whispered, “I kind of called Kevin.”

“You did what?” I yelled at her, jumpin' to my feet, and sendin' my plate of food to the floor. I really did want to hit her! So I did. Not hard though. Don't worry.

“Ow!” she cried, grabbin' her stingin' bicep. “I was just worried about you Jeaux.”

“Are you fucking kiddin' me Rachel! I mean we come out here to escape one person. And at the first sign of trouble, you call that very person! I mean what the hell were you thinkin?”

“The first sign of trouble? Oh come on Jeaux, I should've called him that very first day. He'd been worried out of his mind, you know? Nobody knew where we were.”

“What did you tell him Rachel?”

“I told him what happened. I told him I didn't know what to do!”

“What else did you tell him? Did you tell him why we're here? Did you tell him I saw him Rachel? That I freaked out like a stupid sissy little girl? Please tell me you didn't tell him Rachel.”

“Not in so many words...no...what did you want me to tell him?”

“Nothing! Anything! That we were runnin' away from our families! Not have called him at all maybe!”

“I'm sorry, I didn't know who else to call.”

And the truth of it was, I didn't know who else I would have called in the same situation either.

“What did he say?”

“He was disappointed. Worried about you, of course. He did mention that ya'll were supposed to hang out for New Years.”

“Hang out? Is that exactly what he said?”

“No. He said that you had a date to spend the New Year together.”

“Oh!” I cried, grabbin' my chest in true dramatic fashion. “You're killin' me Rachel. I have to get home. I have to go home now!”

“No you can't go home now. I've been in this city by myself for three days, now you're going to see this New Orleans New Year's through! I'll be damned!”

“I'm sorry Rachel, but you did it to yourself, I've got to go!”

“Don't give me that shit. You're not going. You can't fly by yourself, that we've already learned. And you'll never get a flight out of here tonight. You're kidding yourself if you think otherwise.”

But I wasn't hearin' her. I was already back inside the hotel room in search of my bag and a phone. Packing my bag was easy, but finding a flight...was not.

After several hours on the phone with every airline in town, I had to succumb to either spendin' my New Year's Eve with Rachel, or with a bunch of strangers in an airport, trying to catch a red-eye. And though a party in the party capital of the world, with my best girlfriend in the world, should have sounded like a perfect evening...it didn't even come close to the hole I now felt, knowin' I could have had the true epitome of perfection I desperately desired.

Rachel did her best to pull me out of my funk. She took me to a fancy dinner and back to the hotel to get dressed-up for the night. I let her do my hair and make-up, and dress me up like a doll, but nothing worked. She wasn't lacking for conversation, and did her best to deter my thoughts and fill me in on everything and everyone I'd missed in the last few days.

As the evening waned to night and the first glimpses of fireworks started to light the sky, the buzz outside our terrace was loud enough to nearly drown out the crack of the explosions.

“Okay, I think we've done everything we can do. You're beautiful. Let's get the party started!” she sang, wigglin' her hips.

“I'll meet you down there.”

“No, Jeaux, come one. No more moping. Come with me. We'll get some drinks, have some fun. Come on! Please. I will not let my masterpiece go unseen.” Spinnin' my chair so I could see my reflection in the mirror, I couldn't help but gasp. I hardly recognized myself. Rachel did in fact, have magic hands. I couldn't help but wish Kevin would be the one to see her “masterpiece.”

“No really, I just need a minute. I gotta take a shit.”

“Ew. Jesus Jeaux, do you have to be so gross all the time.”

“What?” I asked laughin', “I do!”

“Okay, whatever, just hurry up and meet me in the lobby.”

Once she was out the door, I ran back over to my bag. I didn't really have to take a crap. I just really didn't want to be down there. I knew where I wanted to be, and damn it I was gonna do whatever I had to do to get there.

I stuffed all of my clothes and the bits of make-up I could call me own into my bag. If I had to sit at the airport all night I would. I'd miss New Year's Eve. I'd miss my kiss. But I couldn't wait another day to see him.

I waited just long enough that I was sure Rachel had been appropriately distracted by the onslaught of guys I was sure were surroundin' her by now. It didn't take her long to make friends anywhere.

I couldn't believe it was almost midnight already.

When the elevator doors opened, I'm not sure what else I had expected. I knew the noise of the crowd outside had been increasin' for awhile, but from this vantage point...down in the midst of it...I knew what Rachel had meant. I'd never get to the airport. I'd never get out of this neighborhood! A taxi couldn't move through this street if it had wings. Streamers and confetti flew from balconies on either side of the road. People were crammed so tight through-out the district, that I was scared to move. It didn't look like anyone should be able to move. They were packed like sardines, shoulder to shoulder.

Tryin' my best to not be so easily deterred, I pulled my bag in closer to my side and dove onto the sidewalk, pushin' and shovin' with the best of them. Maybe, if I could just make it to the end of the street, then I could make it to the end of the next street. This madness had to stop eventually, and surely I'd be able to find a taxi then.

Totally lost in my own train of thought, I was surprised by the sudden outburst from the crowd. Shouting, and clangin' anything they could find, the final countdown of the year rang was bein' shouted by every person left standin'. Except me. I felt lost. In the blur of kids and adults, of drunks and tweakers, of fireworks and streamers, I was forced to a stop. I could feel the anxiety mountin' in my chest, and wondered if this was the same sensation that had sent me off before.

“Jeaux!”

Now I was hallucinatin'. Great.

“Jeaux!” came the voice again. Yes. His voice. I lifted my head, still tellin' myself I had in fact lost what was left of my mind.

But I hadn't. Pushin' his way through the crowd, his eyes locked on mine, I wished that my feet would work. Firmly cemented into the sidewalk, however, they failed me. This must be shock, I thought.

And just like any girl has ever dreamed, my life was suddenly a living fairytale.

Kevin reached me just as the last second of the night came to a close. The cheers stopped for only a moment as the people around us paused for their New Year's Eve kisses. But as far as I was concerned, they ceased to exist altogether.

He had come for me. And, wrapped in his arms, I forgot about it all. There was nothing but him. And his lips. And for that moment, they were both all mine.